Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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