I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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