So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
