I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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