Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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