i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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