I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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