Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
PANTIES FOUND
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