bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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