I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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