she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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