its not stalking. its research.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
