im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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