so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
