Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
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Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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