at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
