so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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