I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
