So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
