The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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