I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.