The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
