Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard