also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?