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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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• (465): View more from

  The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I demand a full explanation right now.

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