Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
