I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My pussy is not your playground.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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