yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
