Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
