yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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