he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i came on her dog
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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