I just pynch a tree in the face
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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