she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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