WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
