Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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