I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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