Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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