Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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