So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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