we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
