I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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