Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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