I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize