Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
