The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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