my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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