careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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