We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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