I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize