okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
