cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
