Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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