look no pants
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
