This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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