Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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