Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize