u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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