Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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