Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
