is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
