I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
