Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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