Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize