i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
