All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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