If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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