How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
